10.10

OK day. Turns out 70% of the work I stayed up to do last night was a waste. One of my professors was also a little rude to us today. On the one hand, I'm not even mad about doing the work and it's nice to know I can meet the expectations I set for myself. On the other, I'm haunted  cranky and desperately want to sleep but still have a ton of work to do, part of which I could have done yesterday.... I need to stop over eating. Multiple nights of separate dinners is not cool and I can feel myself slipping back into my old habits :( Tomorrow should be much better. My stress levels should come down a good bit. I'm going to figure out a way to get back on track...

10.9

Decent school day. Bad food day...Instead of focusing on what went "wrong," I'm going to get myself back on track and get back on top of my school work, my eating and exercising. I think I hit an emotional low and kind of stayed there for most of my afternoon. I pretty much internationally pigged out. I was feeling stressed and a little lonely earlier and now I feel stressed, lonely and sick.... Tomorrow should be better for a variety of reasons. Too lazy to type the rest of my thoughts out. Need to get back to work. Writing what little I did, definitely helped.

10.8

Pretty great day today. Some recruiters emailed me back right after I sent my initial round of emails which was awesome. I had to stay up later than I waned to though to respond to all of them, but I was pretty proud of myself for taking the first step. I had an awkward nights sleep. I felt well rested, but I never felt like I went to sleep. I think I tossed and turned and had my eyes close most of the time... I came back and did some work then took a nap after I made lunch. I "accidentally" ate both my my lunch and dinner for lunch today, which is ultimately probably for the best. I felt hungry and I didn't really feel like I overate afterwards. I've been feeling like I've been under eating at each day for lunch and dinner. Not today, I treated myself to a dish a really. It had egg in it though, but I think I'm going to make a concession and start eating them again as its a good source (and would really be my only source) of protein. I've been doing good with eating enough vegetables, but I need to work on getting enough protein and fruits. I'm going to back to doing an apple with my oatmeal and smoothies on days where I don't have morning class. Gotta start somewhere...the vitamins I bought are a tad salty, which makes me mad, but it's better than nothing. I really don't consume sodium either so I don't think it'll be too harmful for this month. I'll order something else next month. I wished I had my calorie counter, but it's a good lessen in making do with that I got. I think I'm doing pretty good all things considered. I did my circuit last night which made me happy, but I'm not sure if I'm going to make it to the gym and do my circuit tonight. I just ate (it was kind of heavy) and I'm going through some pretty bad fatigue right now. I can definitely do the circuit tonight, but with 8am classes again tomorrow, I'd rather get as much sleep as possible. My dinner had rice (a trigger food), but I need to teach myself to understand my relationship with certain foods rather than stay away from them completely. I have more self-control than that. I shouldn't deprive myself of foods that I can just watch how I eat them instead. In hind sight, doing that is kind of ridiculous.

10.7

Mood was crazy off today. I finally got some work done last night and today, but man, I did not have the energy to do most of it. I still feel kinda blah right now. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better. I'm going to give myself another break and go to the store then come back and do some work. I'm really not feeling dinner right now (which is bad, I know), but I ate a bigger lunch and I don't have the energy to cook right now, which is why I ate out earlier. On the bright side, my tummy feels better and I don't think my week will be super stressful because I am getting a lot of work done now. I was feeling pretty stressed out earlier, but I think I'm starting to calm down again and rationalize where I'm at with some stuff. I kinda realized that I'm not behind and that the amount of internship related work I have to do isn't that bad. I'm also hoping my new study method works well for class tomorrow. Despite my lack of motivation right now, I want to try and move away from having to write everything down...I kinda need to talk to someone about something. I've been trying to wait a week, but its starting to eat away at me and I don't think I'll really feel better until I say something. It's nothing bad, but it's probably going to open up a can of worms that I'm not going to want to deal with. I don't really like talking about my feelings y'all :3 I'll blog about it afterwards, promise lol.

10.6

The tea I bought made me disgustingly sick all day yesterday and left me with no appetite today :/ I loss 4 pounds from yesterday to today and I could barely get down the vegetables I made for lunch and dinner because I didn't want them to spoil and they were expensive. The pollution is also really bad here today, which made me break out a little :/ I'm really committed to get my weight and skin under control before I go back home and I just felt kind bummed out today. I was not happy with the way I looked. I did, however, splurge and buy something to help with my acne since I don't think my US stuff is strong enough and I also got something to help with teeth whitening, vitamins (I've gone without them for a month because I ran out. Even though they aren't the same kind that I use back home, it's better than nothing and I could read the label lol), an emory board for my nails, socks, and a scarf. All things that I needed. I also walked around the mall today, which made me happy because 1) I saw a ton of things I wanted to buy which is going to help keep me motivated to save as much money as  I can and go shopping right before I leave and 2) because I saw stuff that I could easily fit into. Non-scale victory. 4 years ago, after I gained all that weight, I could barely find anything in markets that would fit. I've already bought a dress from a department store which is awesome. I'm hoping the acne stuff I bought helps....My hyper pigmentation is getting better but getting new acne always makes it harder to clear my skin up because it's so sensitive. No gym today. I just didn't have the stomach to do it. I've also been putting off doing work/ facing my future and I'm going to make myself start looking for an internship tonight and doing my homework. I've been putting it off for days, and while I am excited to be here/ look for a job, it's just a lot of pressure and I know failing to either is not an option. Plus I stress out easily which doesn't help. I think I'm going to go the bakery and grab some fresh bread and warm coke for my stomach. I had an early dinner, but I don't want the veggies to be the last thing in my stomach for today. I'm probably just being greedy, but it went down fine the first time when I had it for breakfast and my stomach is kinda upset from lunch and dinner. Tonight is going to be a long night. I'm probably never going to drink that tea again haha.

10.5

Push meal times back to 7. With my workouts, 6 is just too early because my hunger doesn't hit me until much later in the day.. I also had a great workout. Interesting how I burned more calories today with my new routine. I also started my strength training today. I was able to get through the circuit once. I'm going to work up to doing it several times a day. Gotta start somewhere. I also pigged out last night. didn't realize how hungry my workout was going to make me. Veggie sub was fine but then I bought some chocolate buns and chocolate doughnuts…not so great. The buns were fine bc I really wanted them, but the doughnuts were too much. I felt obligated to finish to them even though about half way through I didn't want anymore. Coming off this vacation and all that good food, I had stuff with a lot of sugar in it, which I'm not used to anymore. Now my craving sugar all the time….ugh it's the worst. The cravings are hard to ignore too :/ I ended up getting some Oreos today instead of the buns because I want to try and get myself off eating the buns then getting off sugar completely. I've noticed they are happening at night either right around dinner time so it's a little better then when I first came back when I just wanted to eat sugar all day. I'm going to try something new with my lunch and dinner plans. I made squash pasta, which even though it didn't turn out so so well, I'm going to try doing two veggie meals a day with oatmeal as my major carb for breakfast. I think the pasta is just a source of unnecessary calories when I can substitute it veggie like squash. I accidentally bough laxative tea :/ It's working, but I didn't realize that that's what kind of kind of tea it is… Imma hold on drinking this all the time lol. 

10.4

l spent an hr at the gym today! Pretty proud of myself for sticking it out. On days where I don't have class or morning class, I'm going to try and bump up to 60 mins instead of 30. I was a little bummed that my food schedule was a little off today. I bought a ton of fresh veggies for 2 meals today and I ended up making a new friend (yay) who wanted to go out to lunch so I was kinda stuck with not being able to cook. I guess it's fine. I just hate spending money on going out when the only things I can usually order vegetable-wise are a couple of dishes drenched in sauces, oil and salt (such a waste of money), but making new friends is always good so it was worth it. After my work out, I wasn't feeling super hungry so I could grabbed some almonds and sweet potatoes for dinner. Not the worst food day and certainly not the best. I started drinking this new tea today and I think it's supposed to help curb my appetite which is why I'm not super hungry now. I'll see how this first round goes. I definitely don't want to find shortcuts for loosing weight, but since I drink tea every day, I figured it wouldn't hurt to at least try it. It definitely won't be sustainable in the long run (I'm leaving at the end of the semester so buying it would be nearly impossible after that) so it may not be worth it. Plus, I feel like I'm cheating and the guilt also isn't worth it. The smoothie I had for breakfast was amazing though. It made me so happy!  I also did my first weigh-in today. I've lost about 3 pounds since I've been here. Mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I haven't gained any weight, which is a complete 180, but, on the other, I thought I had lost more, but that might be a little irrational. My clothes were fitting super loosely after I washed them and, while I do think I've lost something (inches, weight, idk) in my things, my stomach has stayed about the same, which kinda bums me out. On the same hand though, I'm literally only doing cardio so there's not much I can say. I'm worried that if I try and tack on too many things, I'll get overwhelmed and quit so I'd rather nail down going to use the treadmill every day before I start doing abs, weights, squats ect because that's happened in the past a lot. I also haven't been working out regularly or really eating enough to keep my body at a healthy calorie intake until these past 2 weeks so I can't really complain. I'm also tying to figure out how much of my initial weight loss from my changed to veganism and how much can be attributed to my working out. After about the first 20 pounds, things have been moving at a much slower pace, which worries me because I still want to hit my goal weight by my birthday. I don't think it's going to happen now because I want to loose weight in a healthy, sustainable way, so I'm going to try to shoot for another 10-15 pounds by January, which seems realistic and healthy as long as I eat properly and work out regularly  I figure I can loose the rest of the weight over the course of spring semester since to help keep me focused and my fitness goals. It will only be another 20-30 pounds at the point. I've gained the most weight/ had the most unhealthiest habits in those two places so I want to prove to myself that I can loose weight and stay on track and not getting out of control again despite being back in those same two environments. Did much better with my cravings today. I don't really think I had any :)

10.3

I'm having horrible sugar cravings coming off of my vacation :3 These next couple of days are going to be hard. I did ok today. I was able to fight most of my cravings today. I started doing some lat night snacking before I left and I was able to keep myself from buying my go-to treat when I went to the store. For lunch, ended up going across the street and getting a dish that I normally like to eat and I realized today that 1) not only was it not as good as I remembered it being a week ago, but 2) it wasn't worth it. I've worked really hard. Today might not necessarily count though due to my eating schedule was off because I slept most of the day, had no food in my room, and had no energy to do anything other than make it to the store and buy food for the next two days. I don't think I'll be getting that dish again nor will I keep buying my late-night snack. I also bought a scale and water pump today! Weighing in will definitely help me stay determined with keeping up with the weight-loss goals I've set for myself and now I can drink as much as I want each day. I'm going to try and worry less about getting off track and focus more on eating and working out regularly. Gym tomorrow.

10.2

Seoul was fantastic. Did a pretty good amount of walking, but I also ate a ton of good food :P Getting back on track tomorrow. Going on vacation made me really proud of all of the progress I've made bc I felt pretty good about the way I looked. I also at some food for the first time that were kind of on "no-go" list, but that's ok. I have enough self control to not let it get out of hand for the rest of my time here. Going to buy a scale tomorrow. Some might call it excessive (weighing myself every day), but it helps keep me accountable, and honestly, it's no one's business but my own. I haven't weighed myself since I've been here so tomorrow's post should be interesting. Going to catch up on a tv show then go bed. I'm exhausted....

9.27

So, things got CRAZY before they got better....Despite no sleep and, in some ways, wasting my time my time by staying up, today was a pretty good day. Looking forward to my trip tomorrow. Probably not going to post any updates until I come back.

9.26

Off food day today. For the first time, I really wanted some comfort food. I don't thin I ate too badly though. I was pretty hungry throughout the whole day even though I packed a snack for in between classes. I pretty much got no sleep last night and was an emotional mess today, but everything worked itself on in the end...well, so far (the night isn't over lol). I think everything will be ok. Sometimes, you just gotta laugh at things. I feel a lot better now, but I have a long night ahead.
My roommate is going to go workout while i finish eatin' my bonbons >.<
I'm not going to beat myself up about today. It will be nice when things go back to normal though...

9.25

Just made some oatmeal with brown sugar, freshly ground cinnamon, apples and soybean milk powder... delicious! Wish I had added a little more cinnamon, but it's takes forever to grind. Next time, I'm also going to put in another apple. I'm realizing that despite what everyone thinks, it's actually quite easy to be vegan here. You just have to be diligent about going to the market and cooking to make sure you get what your body needs. You won't survive eating out here that's for sure....I noticed how grouchy I get when I don't regularly (figures lol) so I'm going to be diligent about bringing snacks with me to class for break. Napping has also being doing me a world of good. Planning on going to the gym tomorrow, but I may not depending on how I feel in the morning. I still feel like I'm not eating enough to make doing that safe and I don't feel well right now. Lastly, I got super hungry today and ate both my lunch and dinner :3 I haven't been that hungry outside of these past couple of days in a long time.

9.24 + Ramblings

I'm so happy I found a way to access my blog! Trying to get back on track. Long story short, the first couple weeks were a hit and a bit of a miss for staying on track. I've done a pretty good job staying away from certain food that made me gain a lot of weight the first time I came here (rice, meat, sweets, snacks). I'm also doing a better job sticking to being vegan. Had to go vegetarian for a while, but that I'm able to cook for myself, things should be a lot better. Going to get my eating back on track before I start working out full out again. Rather be safe then sorry and I know I'm not eating as much as I need to as I get back in the swing of things. I've lost a bit of weight since I've been here, but I honestly don't know how much because I haven't bought a scale yet. Hoping to get one soon. Even though I don't work out a lot, I've been walking a lot more so I still feel like I'm getting a good bit of cardio in throughout the week. My mood and energy levels have been off for a good bit of time, but it could just be from falling out of my normal routine. It's also kind of hard to log my food online here so I've been writing everything down in a Word Doc. Starting to expand my menus as I plan what I want to eat each week.

I'll be posting and updating my tumblr regularly again :)

MIA For Awhile

Great summer. In the process of relocating right now so probably not going to post anything for a while, assuming I can access my sites when I get to where I'm going. Looking forward to the next several months. Lots of adventures to be had and hurdles to jump over, but it will be worth it. I will still accomplish my fitness goals. Bye for now! 

Last Day At Gym

Last workout in the US. I've gone from not wanting to wake up to not going consistently to getting to the gym before it opens in about 1 month. Feeling good. Feeling proud. 

Moving

Studying abroad. If all goes well and I can still access my sites, I'll pick things back up when I get settled in. Otherwise, I'll have to report back in the spring. Very proud of myself thus far. Even though I still have a long way to go, I know I can do it. 

Bye for now,

57_140

Summer Weight Loss Goal Achieved

Despite all the crazy I went through this summer trying to get my eating habits right and start exercising, I hit my summer weight loss goal of 190. 30 lbs down in 2.5 months. Taking it slow and doing it right this time!

8.22.2013

Bleh...

B+Grade

1,289Calories

-753Net Cals

29Points

7

Goals

8.21.2013

Fantastic workout. Felt kinda crummy around dinner time. I realized I don't really like doing solid foods for dinner so I might switch over to shakes and soups (with side salads) for a while. I know I need to eat, but instead of trying to force myself to eat stuff like pasta with veggies when I get home, I'm going to start taking that for lunch and doing lighter stuff at night. I also need to get back to eating more fruits and veggies so changing when I eat certain types of foods may help with that. Had coconut milk ice cream for dinner. I wanted to try something new, keep myself from ordering Chinese food ( I wanted a little bit of comfort), and find something other than pasta and veggies to eat (again not feelings the dense foods thing right now). It was ok. I'd get it again and its good to know that it exists in the universe so I don't feel sad about having to give it up. Ice cream was the only thing I've really missed so far...Feeling pretty tired. Ton of stuff to do, but I might put some of it to the side and get some more sleep.

B+Grade

1,372Calories

-1,094Net Cals

27Points

6

Goals

8.20.2013

Very little walking about the office today. Had some work done at the dentist and I just didn't feel up to it. Happy to report that I got a salad today from a mexican place, where I've only gotten quesadillas and burritos from up until now. I've been going to this place for years! I really like eating there, but instead of guilt tripping myself every time I go, I finally figured out a way to keep going and be healthier about it. On a side note, the gym was so-so today. Had a hard time staying on one machine for the full 35 so I ended up erging for a 10 mins just so I could make it to 30 mins. Not the best work out, but proud of myself for sticking it out.

A-Grade

1,185Calories

-1,132Net Cals

32Points

8

Goals